Thank you Lord for Pain

-Numbness can occur when sustained pressure has been applied over a nerve - inhibiting/stimulating its function. (wikipedia)

I wish I was Numb sometimes, simply because I just don't want to hurt or feel pain. I guess this is common to us humans, and it is more of an epidemic now as we battle these Drug issues today. Its especially hard when we can just ask our Doc for something to wash away the pain I may have in my back and he just writes out a permission slip and signs.
I have a friend that had a wife and has 2 kids, he lived your normal life. Long story very short he had bad things happen to him and now he is in a vegetable state of mind for reasons I cant really explain. His wife left him because of this, and he hardly understands the fact that he has a boy and a little girl. Do I really want to be numb?
I have a dream of having a baby one day. To see my nephew Gunnar born was one of the happiest days and experiences of my life. I cried, I laughed and thanked God for such a beautiful miracle. I cannot imagine having a baby of my own. Do I wanna be numb?
I think the Devil uses paresthesias to his advantage at times. I am no where near God when I feel numb. Its a blessing how God created numbness for when our arm gets cut off, or like when my brother Josh died I felt numb for quite a while. I really believe sometimes its Gods Grace, especially when dealing with death our bodies that God created tend to go through the numb phase of Grief and I know its for a good reason, but what a perversion it has become. To see friends abuse this feeling, and to give everything they have in their lives up just to feel it is a scary thought.

I battle depression and I would lie if I said I didn't want pain. Its something I never understood until I went through it. Just like everything else in this life, and now I think the experience is freedom! Man if I was the first to go through these problems, I really don't think I could have made it through them. You see, God used so many people in my life that has had worse experiences than me, or that have made worse decisions than me, but more importantly they all made it through and were able in allowing God through their forgiven heart to save mine. Thank you for allowing those people to suffer. Thank you for my sufferings, because the pain in my past through Christ Jesus has been made Joy. It has Made me who I am and it has brought me closer to Jesus. It has freed me from my ignorance, pride, and negativeness towards others. It has taught me how to Pray. I have learned how weak I really am as a human, and how powerful God is as my Father. I have learned not to Judge, but to be humbled by others experiences.
Through the power of my Savior I have already won this fight. You see, when we go through hell we come out stronger than ever. Satan thinks he wins these battles and he very well might sometimes, but not our battles, because in the midst of shit and tears we are being made into bigger, and sharper swords. I love how God can turn the worst possible thing in our life into the best thing that ever happened in our life. Of course my God is going to take a negative and make it a positive.



“Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to the tremendous difficulties” CH Spurgeon



I dare you to except the pain of growing. Going through life was never promised to be easy, but by the Glory of God, and the freedom in Jesus, removing the weight of this world has never been easier :-)

-Removing the pressure will typically result in gradual relief of these paresthesias, often described as a "pins and needles" feeling. (wikipedia)

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

God Bless, and I love you.
Jared

A Birdcage Religion

A Birdcage Religion

so slowly i'm losing
who i've sworn to be.
a promise in pencil
that years have made so hard to read.
i've spent my life building walls
brick by brick and bruise by bruise...
a birdcage religion that whispered me to sleep.

but time is spinning silk
that coils ruthlessly;
with the devil's patience,
it binds my hands so quietly
that soon it becomes a part of me.

so soften these edges and straighten out my tie.
and help me remember
the hope that i have compromised.

please be a broken record for me.
..................................................................................................
Sleeping At Last
Storyboards

Please go listen to it or just buy the dang record!

Grace

Stand and be yourself, if we do not except the Grace of God then we do not share it. Its by the Grace of God we are here today, forgiven, free, and have eternal life with our Savior in heaven. The Love of God is mesmerizing, how stupid am I to listen to satan and ignore this Love that fills my heart day in day out. Its daily choices we have, and its daily we have to choose to Stand and except Grace. The work we do without Gods Grace is impossible and almost unbearable at times without allowing the Holy Spirit to fill our heart and void with our Father and His daily gift of Love, joy, mercy, forgiveness, Grace feels like it Gods breath filling my lungs, it is communication with our Father drawing us closer and it is not only internal but eternal. Its a never ending PEACE! What a gift I have gladly received by my perfect Dad, its a gift I do not deserve. Much like the gift of Jesus. Its a gift we have to except, receive and be grateful for. So stand up friends! Live, here and now, responsible, honorable, and God-fearing lives. And also... "See to it that no one misses the grace of God..." Hebrews 12:15

Titus 2:11-12 (Phi) For the grace of God, which can save every man, has now been shown for all men, and it teaches us to have no more to do with godlessness or the desires of this world but to live, here and now, responsible, honorable, and God-fearing lives.

So be strong, and remember that in continuous prayer we present a problem to Satan. An impenetrable cloud will be among you, Hold Fast.

Love,

JARED

"I have ovecome the world"

When I see a "life is good" sticker on a car, I want to stop and go up to the person driving and ask them what world are they living in, because I want to move and experience the good life with them. I just wonder how many people have put that sticker on their car and removed it shortly after because they had to be at a high point in life to buy it and put it on their $30,000 car. I'm sorry if you have this sticker and if it stands for something I don't know about, or means something to you. I am so blessed and definitely love certain aspects of my life, but I just wish it would stay true as long as it was on my car.

Its comforting to hear my Mom or Dad tell me not to worry, and that everything is going to be alright. I'm not quite sure how I could get through some days without hearing that from them, its like an automatic peace phrase for me no matter if it is in person, over the phone, or written. It also reminds me that things could always be worse deep in my mind. Its when I look at LIFE and the BIG picture that I get overwhelmed and think too much, and sometimes hearing its going to be fine does not seem to calm the beast of worry in my head. Why is it that hearing this from God so many times in the bible, I still seem to worry? Maybe I haven't been looking at the small things in life as much as I really need to. Like watching my wife snore at night, I'm just glad she is breathing. Or how I remembered how to tie my shoes today, I'm just glad I have shoes. Or walking in my home and seeing how happy my dog is to see me again, I'm just happy to be loved. Man, isn't it just sad how we forget that we are so blessed, and to worry about tomorrow and what we will eat or wear. I forget that the sun rises everyday, and gravity keeps my feet on the ground, and oxygen fills my lungs, and I have have never ever controlled any of these things in my life, and I doubt that you have either. Even though I know a couple of people think they hung the moon, but I think they have to be 3 sheets in the wind to think of themselves so highly.

I want to share this scripture.

Matthew 6:31-33
Do not worry then, saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?"' or "What will we wear for clothing?" For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Wow, the only way I can ever live without worry is to know that there is more to it than this life, and the One that I serve can actually make me a promise that I have reason to rest in peace.

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33.

Love,
Jared

Polamalu

I am exhausted by my sinful nature. Things have been good lately. Its hard for me when I feel fine, its the time I am a stale believer. This gravity is a strong force and it is seemingly pulling me down with it these days. Thats why I am writing on here I guess.

One of my favorite football players is Troy Polamalu and I didnt even know he was a believer until recently. But I found this short interview of him and he talks about Prayer. Really cool stuff to see, and very encouraging. Watch it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScKhG3RB1qY

I love you guys, and I hope you will keep your chins up during these winter days!
JARED

Journey of Love, and Faith

This is from The Screwtape Letters, by: CS Lewis
It is a letter that Screwtape (mentor) wrote to his young predecessor "wormwood", who is the demon in charge of this "Patient/human". The patient took a walk to an old mill that had sentimental value, and memories of his family from years ago. Wormwood allowed him to walk alone for a bit, and the patient ended up recollecting memories and at some point began to pray on this walk. This is what Screwtape is telling Wormwood in his letter, to teach him to never allow this to happen again for these reasons.

"As you have ought to have known, the asphyxiating cloud which prevented your attacking the patient on his walk back from the old mill, is a well known phenomenon. It is the Enemy's (God) most barbarous weapon, and generally appears when He is directly present to the patient under certain modes not yet fully classified. Some humans are permanently surrounded by it and therefore inaccessible to us"

Very interesting, even though this is CS Lewis' take on what happens in spiritual warfare I have a feeling it could possibly be just like this. As the patient began praying, screwtape mentions this phenomenon, as Gods most barbarous weapon. PRAYER. Just the image of this gives me chills to think about. To their eyes, we have a thick haze, or fog around us that they cannot penetrate. Its the power of God through prayer! Now that has to make you feel like praying if you haven't already started. I love the end when he mentions that some humans are permanently surrounded by this and it makes us inaccessible. They don't understand Love. They don't understand Gods Love for us and the freedom he has given us out of Love. There are certain things that they do not have a clue about, because only God does and he shares some of that with us. Prayer is a weapon, and prayer is so much more than a weapon, but prayer is communicating with our Father, a way to experience Him first hand, his Love, Grace, and Joy just to name a few. Its to listen, and to talk, to learn, and sometimes cry out to God when we are in need of his warming embrace.

Spurgeon wrote:
Yes, my Lord, I long, I pant to feel Thy love flaming like a furnace within me. Come Thou Thyself and excite the ardour of my spirit.

"For every drop of crimson blood
Thus shed to make me live,
O wherefore, wherefore have not I
A thousand lives to give?"
Why should I despair of loving Jesus with a love as strong as death? He deserves it: I desire it. The martyrs felt such love, and they were but flesh and blood, then why not I? They mourned their weakness, and yet out of weakness were made strong. Grace gave them all their unflinching constancy—there is the same grace for me. Jesus, lover of my soul, shed abroad such love, even Thy love in my heart, this evening.

Humans, Faith is a big word if you really think about it, and look through the many scriptures that speak of it. Its big because its just huge! Faith is a huge part of our walk and every breath. When I am spending time with God and losing my pride, I certainly acquire more faith every time I pray. But then again, I use faith all of the time, but not faith in God all of the time. I still tend to have faith in myself, or faith in other things to help me get by. Its a stone I am climbing up slowly, and I will reach the top in having full and complete Faith in my Father.
If I was thrown in a Lions den tonight, you better believe I would be on my knees praying harder than ever. I would be asking the lions to just be my friend, and maybe if you let me out I can set up a nice big litter box outside my room for you and you could even sleep on my nice king size bed if you'd like. I'm putting my faith in the Lions! The difference here is, that Daniel didn't, he put his faith in the Lord.

Today is a good day. I am Loved to no end by my Father. I shall certainly rejoice and be very Glad in it.

Isaiah 41:10
Love Jared

month 2 never ceasing prayer

About now, I am having a hard time doing my routines as I once was able to do with ease. Pray, get going and work while I try to pray all day. Its become quite a task for me to handle and make myself do it. It is a struggle right now to say the least. But, I need to hop on the other side of the train track and keep forging ahead as I try to follow Christ's example he has given to us. See, the first week or 2 were seemingly going great. But things change and we have a battle going on around all of us. Someone does not want us to succeed in such a great way. Its a battle I will face tomorrow and I will throw on Gods Armor and pray my little heart out. Here we go.

on another note:

Jordan's best friend just lost her fiance' and this week the same girl just lost her dad in his sleep. 49 years old and as healthy as can be. Needless to say, it is a horrible time for them right now. Jor and I have had talks about feeling mad at God for letting something like this happen to her. Such a sweet, amazing, godly girl. It seems to happen all around and it does not skip the people we would like it to. I guess it just the fact that we are not guaranteed the next breath of air. Our time could come in the blink of an eye, and we will not know it. I have read a lot of scripture on living today as it would be your last. That sounds like an amazing thing if you think about it. To truly LIVE, your life everyday, and treat it as your last day on earth. I think I would worry less, I wouldn't be so selfish, and I wouldn't struggle with depression as much as I do. Just thinking about living your life to the fullest, no regrets and how awesome that would be. Then waking up the next morning, and truly realizing what a blessing it is to have another day in front of you! Wow, if I could get that way, I feel like I would take nothing for granted, and cherish everything God has given me even More! I might actually feel inclined to talk to strangers more, say I Love You more, work harder, be a better person and also help others. A lot of these things, I tend to believe I will have plenty more time to do them or to be that way. But I'm actually not sure if I will or wont soon. To live my day and treat it as my last, I would do all of these things and I would strive to honor the kingdom of heaven 110%. Do my best to be like Christ and Love everyone. God puts people and things in our lives for a reason.

We need to allow Gods light to shine through us, so we can be seen and used by Him everyday. I have been caught up in my marriage,and work, and bills, that's my day. I go to bed and do it again. God centered means to me, that my priorities are straight. God, and everything else after. When that is the case, no matter the struggle, God is in control of your life, and you will be okay. He wants us to succeed, and he wants us to share with others the joy, and hope, and Love we have through Jesus Christ. When we are God centered, it all falls into place and it works. Its hard, we are humans with veins and brains and wiring in us that makes us who we are. But with Christ in our life, and the promise we have of everlasting Love and life, we are Free.


Love JARED