I will count today as a step in the right direction. As I was working, I was able to remind myself to pray, instead of thinking to myself all day. I think this is a step, not a leap by any means. I hope to automatically pray one day instead of thinking of praying, and making myself do it. Lets face it, sometimes I actually find myself wanting to just "think" instead of talking to God. I am not sure if it's laziness, or if it is the old me trying to figure life out on my own. I have a feeling it's both and then some:-) It's funny, because even something as little as brainstorming to myself, i tend to want to do it behind Gods back or in my own little corner where I feel comfort in myself. Reality is, I don't have my own corner, and if I did, I would never, ever figure out how to get out.
For those of you that are on this journey with me, I want to just encourage you guys to commit this scripture to memory. It is Ephesians 6:10-20 The Armor of God. This is something we can use throughout our day as we are continually tempted to fall. I know it sounds cheesy and Sunday school, but I believe in the power of prayer, and this is such a powerful way to start everyday. I am memorizing the NIV, that actually goes through the armor of Christ. But I wanted to post a version from "The Message". I just like how it reads.
"Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting, you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."
I can't help but think of the movie "Brave Heart", and being one of the few still standing after a battle while reading this: "so that when it's all over but the shouting, you'll still be on your feet."
Honestly, my biggest struggle lately is forgiveness. I have always felt like I have been able to forgive people easily, but it's not forgiving others so much, as it is myself. I know God is dealing with this in me, and I seem to pray a lot about things I regret in my past. I wish I had never done them, but I am daily haunted of these sins. I really believe this is a big part of the spiritual warfare that is going on in the midst of our very own lives. It is happening right now, and will not stop until God has put a stop to Satan, which is going to be an amazing thing to witness!!! If I think William Wallace is rad, wait until we see God and his army defeat Satan! I mean Gabriel and Michael are a million times cooler than superman and batman put together. When Jesus was tempted, he used scripture and prayer to get through and eventually defeated Satan and lived a sinless life. I know Satan will use what he can do to get us down, discouraged, and feeling worthless, especially when we are a threat to him. For me, as I mentioned before, I feel like I am on a higher plane now and some of my hardest struggles I had are seemingly not as difficult to overcome. The devil will pull things out of nowhere that have never been struggles before and try to stop us in our tracks and make us feel unworthy of of Gods love, or even unworthy of our family and friends love. I am speaking to myself now, because I need to hear this more than anyone. I encourage you to read "The Screwtape Letters" From C.S. Lewis. It is his depiction of how spiritual warfare is from a demons standpoint including the planning and patience that go into ruining our lives and ultimately perishing in hell. It will give you goosebumps the whole time you read it. I am really excited about Milam and Ashley's new small group they are starting tonight, which "speak of the devil"...pun intended, is going to be a group study focused on "The Screwtape Letters", and the truth about the continuous battle that takes place here on earth.
I really want to focus on memorizing the Armor of God, and put it to use every single day.
Love,
JARED
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Jared, I've been meaning to comment on these blogs because I have been keeping up with them and they are all such a blessing. You have such an honest heart and I think it's awesome that you're opening up and allowing us all to be a part of your journey. I know that it's encouraged me a great deal and that I can relate to a lot of the things that you're dealing with and that areas that you're growing in.
ReplyDeleteI have often struggled with forgiving myself and I won't dare say that the struggle is over. It's something that I deal with on a daily basis and I believe that Satan continues to use this weakness to try and discourage me. It's amazing how that sneaky little devil can convince us to do things, then totally torment us about them in the future. I'm confident that God has forgiven these things, yet I can't seem to let the things that I regret just remain in the past.
God is continually strengthening me and reminded me of his grace and strength each day...he's cast those things that sicken me to think about as far as the east is from the west! Satan wants us to believe that we are nothing, and that we're worthless and ruined, but God is the one who sees our worth as far more valuable than gold and who has cleansed us from all unrighteousness that we've partaken of in our lifetime.
I believe that it's always going to be a battle, but with the armor of God and his Word written on the tablets of our hearts, we will come out winning in the end!
May God continue to work in your heart and give you the strength you need to be in continual prayer...